EIGHT

Pig in the middle,
Being panned around
From speaker to speaker;
Arguing on the airways
Somewhere out there,
Wearing their interests bare.
I got onto A,
A sends me to B,
B returns to A,
Now hold on here I say:
You say you’re not liable,
She says she ain’t viable,
So who the hell’s reliable?
So B got back to A,
A sends him away,
So quite defiant B
Gets back onto me.
Well I tell you, I’ve had enough of this,
So I slam the phone down.
Then the boss rapped me,
So I posted him my notice.
Then I got onto you, my friend
From way beyond,
And asked for your advice.
Sorry, says your wife,
You can’t come out today,
You’re painting her spare room,
You can’t come out to play.
So I slam the phone down,
And now I’m sick in the middle
Without either end to take my place.